


Home Among the Stars

by stellahibernis



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Future Fic, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, exploring new places, happiness, space travel, with some serious bits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:00:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21887080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellahibernis/pseuds/stellahibernis
Summary: The various adventures of Steve and Bucky traveling in space and helping people who need it (and taking many well deserved vacations).Featuring good and bad days at work, a beach straight from a travel brochure, running away from a monster on an ice planet, a new furry addition to the family, and copious amounts of happiness.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 52
Kudos: 78





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As is my personal tradition fifth year running, the chapters of this fic will be posted daily between today and January fifth.
> 
> There isn't too much plot going on, some loose threads through this, but mostly I wrote this because I wanted some light-hearted space adventures (there ended up being some heavier episodes, but on the whole I stuck to the plan).
> 
> Very happy holidays to those who celebrate, and happy reading also to everyone else.

Bucky idly noted the telltale burst of sound that meant a tiny piece of debris had hit the protective shield of their ship. They were currently in between stars, at a patch of mostly empty space, which meant that the hits were less common and more noticeable, even when they knew they didn’t pose any danger. Any particle big enough to cause damage would show on their scanner well in time for evasive maneuvers.

Bucky had decided the empty patch was a good opportunity for some maintenance work. A part in the engine cooling system needed replacing, and so they’d locked on a safe vector of travel and shut down the engines. It wasn’t a critical issue; if push came to shove they’d be able to immediately restart the engines and run for a good while, but doing so would require them to perform more extensive repairs at a dock later. Bucky really hoped that no hostile ships would pop up during the hour he still needed to complete the work. He selected another part from top of the cloth he’d laid down on the floor next to him, and leaned forward to fasten it into place.

He heard Steve moving toward him long before he was near the room housing the cooling system. The ship was much like a submarine in that sounds carried along the structure much farther than they would have in a building on the Earth. If needed, both of them were capable of moving quietly enough to not broadcast where they were, which had come in handy on occasion, but Steve didn’t bother most of the time, and Bucky made noise if he remembered he didn’t actually have to be quiet all the time any more. It had been a long time since he’d been the Winter Soldier, but old habits were hard to get rid of.

Finally Steve stepped through the door, carrying a bottle which Bucky hoped would turn out to contain his favorite cold tea. The color of the liquid was promising at least. He pulled off his gloves and took the bottle, leaning a bit into Steve when he crouched down to peer into the mechanism.

“Need help? I finished planning the route and listing the supplies we’ll need to pick up on Kymellia II.”

“No, I’m fine. I should be done in about an hour. Go draw or something.”

Steve shoved his shoulder lightly. “Nothing much to draw here in the middle of nowhere. Especially since I’m not feeling up to dipping into memories right now.” Steve’s voice was light, but Bucky leaned into him again, offering comfort for the confession. “I’ll go make some dinner. We still have some of the chicken we brought from Earth, I’ll do something with that.”

Steve aimed a sloppy kiss at Bucky’s temple before getting back to his feet and heading toward the kitchen. Bucky drank half of the tea before pulling the gloves back on and continuing his work. He’d have the last of his drink a bit later.

When they’d first acquired their own ship, they’d divided the duties according to what felt natural, with Steve piloting and navigating, and Bucky taking care of the engineering. Since it was just the two of them, many of their skills overlapped, and in an emergency Steve could do basic repairs and Bucky pilot their way into safety. Even so, they were both much more comfortable within their own specialty. They still worked as well together as they ever had, and the daily routines needed to keep their ship running smoothly were second nature by now.

An hour later Bucky was done and the cooling system fully functional again. He took the now empty drinking bottle to the kitchen, where he set it up on its place on the rack to be cleaned by the bots. There was something cooking in the oven and a salad ready in a bowl, but no Steve, so Bucky went through their hydroponic garden to the observation area.

It was a narrow room separated from the garden by a living green wall, just a short passage really, with not much room for anything but some cushions on the floor. The main feature was the large convex window, which allowed them to see a hemisphere of the space around them. Steve was sitting on the window, looking like he was almost floating in space, and he had the drawing app open on his pad. He was working on a view of Brooklyn, not as it was these days, but from when they’d been children. It appeared that whether he’d wanted it or not, his memories had found a way out of his head after all.

Bucky sat down behind Steve, wrapping arms around his waist and hooking his chin on Steve’s shoulder. Steve leaned back into him, abandoning his drawing.

“Everything okay with the cooling?” Steve asked.

“Yep, all good to go. We can make the jumps with no problem.”

“Great. Let’s get to it tomorrow, though, it’s late enough. The dinner should be ready by now.” Steve turned to kiss Bucky’s cheek before getting up to his feet and pulling Bucky after himself.

That night Bucky didn’t fall asleep immediately. There was nothing wrong, he was just not very tired yet, but he was definitely happy to curl up around Steve in the warmth of their bed. Nowadays he got to do so on most nights, but it didn’t mean it was something he wanted to treat like a habit, because it was precious and he didn’t want to take things for granted. They had been separated for so many times in the past for different reasons that it would have been stupid to think it could never happen again.

At least they had eliminated some causes that had pulled them apart in the past, namely those that had been between the two of them. Their relationship hadn’t always been easy, there had been times when one of them had tried to withdraw from it, usually because they’d believed it would have been better for the other. It had never last, and nowadays they readily admitted they belonged together no matter what, and put their energy to removing the obstacles trying to come between them instead. If they ever were to be forced apart again, Bucky would fight with everything he had against it, and he knew Steve would do just the same.

The ship was their home these days, and while it meant they spent much of their life in transit by default, this night he was aware of them traveling even more than usual. They were on the way again, having spent some time visiting the Earth after being away for several years since their previous visit, and several decades since they last lived there. They still kept regular contact with the Avengers even when they were away, but it was good to go back every once in a while. They had enjoyed their stay, but while the Earth would always be important and precious to them, it was now only one of the several places they might have called home, and not the most important. Most of the people they’d met in the early years after Steve had been revived from the ice were gone by now, as were their familiar haunts. When they’d departed decades earlier, they’d set up on a path that had diverged them from their planet of birth, and while it was sometimes bittersweet, they felt the life they had now suited them.

Their past would always follow them, but it felt less like a baggage out here among the vastness of stars. It was easier to let go and move forward, to try and live their lives the best they could with less expectations. It had been nice to go back for a while, but now that they were traveling again Bucky felt like he was easing into himself once more, a minute thread of tension finally leaving him.

Steve shifted in his sleep, probably surfacing into a dream, but he settled when Bucky soothed a hand down his back and pulled him closer. Bucky lifted his head for one last look at the screen where their AI was plotting their progress and monitoring their surroundings. Everything was as it should be, and he settled his forehead against Steve’s neck and let sleep claim him.

Even though they’d lived in space for decades now and between the planets and spaceports every moment of the day looked pretty much the same, Bucky still couldn’t help but think of time in the blocks of days and nights, mornings and afternoons. If nothing disturbed them, they naturally tended to fall into a rhythm that followed a twenty-four hour cycle, approximately in time with New York. They woke up once more at the time when Bucky knew the sun was low in the sky at the home of their youth, the birthplace of their friendship, and they were both happy to start a new day.

They were now ready to start making jumps toward their destination rather than cruising along. They were nearing a star surrounded by a nebula, the particle clouds glowing in reds and purples, when they strapped themselves to their chairs in the cockpit. The engine was humming, ready for exertion, and the recently repaired cooling system worked perfectly. Steve was entering the jump path into their flight computer.

“How many jumps is it to Kymellia?” Bucky asked.

“Thirty-three, so nothing to write home about.” 

Steve was right; it had been recommended that they shouldn’t try more than fifty jumps at a time to avoid strain to their minds and bodies, and they usually followed the advice, although if necessary, they could do a lot more without adverse consequences. It just wasn’t fun, and since most of the time they weren’t in that big of a rush when there was a need for a lot of jumps, they just divided the trip in several sections, the same as everyone else did.

Steve did the final checks on the flight computer. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah, let’s get to it.”

Bucky smiled at Steve who flashed a grin back at him before turning to his controls and initiating the jump. Bucky leaned back as the lights streaked out in his vision, keeping an eye on the engine output to make sure it stayed nominal. He was truly back where he belonged once more.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A stop at a spaceport.

Steve liked spaceports. Each one of them had its own character; some of them were under the jurisdiction of the Shi’ar Empire, which meant they were fairly tightly patrolled and very safe, and others had no law but that of the strongest and smartest, sometimes that of the richest, and a shootout might break out at any time. What they had in common was that they all were hubs of many different kinds of people, some just passing through, others settled there to cater to the needs of the travelers.

On this one they were relatively safe, and it was familiar enough that even Bucky had brought only one gun with him when they left the ship, and hadn’t protested separating to get everything they needed more efficiently. He’d gone to find some spare parts that they needed for the ship, while Steve was gathering the more general supplies to fill up their stores. They both also listened to the gossip to learn what was going on, especially if there had been any significant changes in territories or tensions. They tried to be as well informed as possible at all times, because accidentally flying into a war zone was definitely not what they wanted to do. Sometimes they flew into war zones deliberately, but it was always with as much information as they could get, with all the necessary precautions taken, and above all, always with a good reason. They never fought in anyone’s wars, they only helped the civilians.

There was nothing unexpected going on as far as Steve could find out, and he was very satisfied with the haul of supplies he’d managed to gather at fairly reasonable prices, so it was easy to enjoy the afternoon surrounded by the people. It was a port he knew well, its central location meant it was often part of the most convenient way from one place to another, and they’d learned early on that they usually could get everything they needed or wanted there. The vendors in the market weren’t always the same, some left, others arrived, but there were many that knew Steve by name.

He was selecting teas to fill their cupboards, knowing that Bucky could drink enormous quantities, and no one made them quite like Cerice did. She had a new blend that she thought Bucky would like, and Steve trusted her assessment, because by now she’d had time to learn their preferences.

“And how is your partner these days, anyway?” she asked when she was wrapping the packets of tea into a parcel for Steve. “Is his leg bothering him anymore?”

“He’s fine, the leg is fine. It helped with the recovery that we went to visit Earth. Made it easier for him to rest. He heals well, so it wasn’t really something to worry about, even with how serious the injury was.”

“Getting stabbed with one of those barbed knives is never fun. I’m glad to hear there were no complications. Do you already know where you’re off to next?”

“No, nothing concrete. Something always turns up, though.”

“That it does.” Cerice handed the parcel to Steve, and he transferred the funds to her. “Don’t be a stranger.”

Steve waved at her and turned back toward the ship because he had everything they needed. On the way he greeted the people he recognized, answering their inquiries that he was fine, that Bucky was fine. Much like in their youth, everyone that knew them at all inevitably also knew they came as a set, and Steve especially liked the casualness with which the nature of their connection was discussed. He liked being referred to as partners, because the generally understood definition of the word was perhaps the closest to what they meant to each other, able to encompass all the aspects of it. Steve liked how things were out there among the stars, where the multitude of customs and cultures intermingling had made it necessary to simplify some concepts, making many things generally more accepted.

The general mindset about people and their appropriate relationships had changed a lot since Steve first woke from the ice, and even more compared to the days of his youth. Many different kinds of partnerships or groups were more accepted these days, but on Earth it was still easier for people to understand their relationship if he referred to Bucky as his husband, which is why they mostly did so, despite the fact they’d never actually married. Having a ceremony had felt redundant in light of what they felt to each other, and since their lives had always been a bit strange, they hadn’t needed the legal rights being married would have given them, because everyone had already considered the two of them each other’s next of kin.

Bucky found it hilarious that by now, due to incidents that had caused significant loss of documentation, they actually were listed as a married couple on official records on Earth, presumably because when people had needed to reconstruct the records they’d just assumed and not checked. The rules of common law marriage certainly should have applied to them.

Back on the ship he found Bucky had arrived before him. On port the sounds didn’t carry through the ship quite as well as they did when they were completely detached, there was a muffled quality to it that made it impossible to pinpoint exactly where Bucky was despite him clearly being in the middle of some kind of repair work based on the clangs of metal. Steve called out his greeting at the entrance, because if he didn’t, Bucky would feel compelled to come and check on him even though he was well aware that if anyone else came on board the AI would alert him. Steve didn’t want to disturb him from what he was doing, and went to the store the supplies he’d purchased instead.

He was stacking the teas he’d bought from Cerice into the cupboard when Bucky came to the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Steve’s waist, nuzzling at his neck. He smelled faintly of the cleaning fluid he used to make sure there were no contaminants in any of the new parts he brought on board, and Steve leaned back into him as he finished his task.

“Any particular news?” Bucky asked.

“No, I didn’t hear anything that we should be concerned about, so it’s safe to set out. Cerice said hello, by the way. She had a new tea blend she thought you’d like.”

“We’ll try that later,” Bucky said, kissing the side of Steve’s neck and pressing the tips of his fingers against his stomach.

It was obvious what Bucky wanted, not the least because Steve could feel him hardening against his ass. Steve was certainly not opposed, because even after so long together, he still hadn’t had his fill of Bucky in any way. He probably never would, because every time they touched it was somehow different from all the previous times, always new and precious even though they knew every inch of each other already.

“What were you repairing, anyway?” Steve asked as he turned around in Bucky’s arms and leaned back against the cupboard door, pulling Bucky further into his space. “I thought everything was running nominally.” He shivered when Bucky pushed his hands under his shirt and ran a thumb over his left nipple, causing it to harden under his touch.

“It is. But I found a new shower mechanism that fit into the space in our bathroom, got it for basically nothing, and installed it.”

Steve answered Bucky’s satisfied grin with a smile of his own. The ship was a very good fit for the two of them, but the shower up until then had been an older model, and finding a replacement that wouldn’t require major engineering work had turned out to be difficult. They’d managed well enough, but some additional comfort in their home was always a good thing.

“Oh, really?” Steve asked, and touched Bucky’s cheek that was speckled with dust from his work. “Guess we should see if the water pressure is finally at a reasonable level. You’ll need to get clean anyway.”

“Uh-huh,” Bucky agreed, pulling away from Steve’s arms but grabbing a hold of his hand to pull him toward the bathroom. “You should come to make sure I get everything. I already locked up.”

Steve let Bucky pull him toward their living quarters, concentrating on the happiness he felt and memorizing it. There were countless other memories of happiness that he carried inside his heart, and while they would never replace all the terrible things that they’d been through, they at least had started to overwhelm the darker parts of their past.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not quite a worst case scenario.

Bucky was spinning, which wasn’t good. Even worse was that his tether had come loose, and worst of all was that the strike to his helmet had disabled his communicator, and another had broken the emergency booster that he could have used to reorient himself and get back to the ship.

He closed his eyes, which helped with the nausea caused by the flashing lights reflecting over his visor. This way he wouldn’t be able to prepare if he was about to hit something, but as far as he’d been able to determine, there wasn’t much else around him but the dispersing field of debris, and since he was spinning, he couldn’t really see that much, anyway. At least he was no longer in danger of passing out.

It was a bad scenario, certainly something he’d hoped he’d never have to experience, but they had prepared for something like this, and he knew that in his position, he had to accept there were things he could and couldn’t control. He desperately hated having to admit that some things he’d just have to endure, the shadow of the years spent with no control over anything was still there at the edge of his mind, still making him compelled to ascertain he knew as much as possible about his surroundings and the probable consequences of his actions.

He hated it, but he made himself accept there was nothing he could do to change the trajectory of his travel, and pushed the fact to the back of his mind. He knew he was extremely lucky that his suit and helmet were still intact and airtight, otherwise he’d be dead already. He folded his arms across his chest, and pulled his knees in, making himself smaller. There would be less chance of him hitting something or something hitting him. He also brought his breathing under control, steadying it so that the oxygen would last him as long as possible. Then there was nothing to do but wait.

He hoped the tracking beacon on his suit was still alive, it wasn’t anywhere near the communicator or booster, so it was a possibility. The beacon didn’t reach very far, but the range would be enough to help Steve find him. He knew Steve would come, if only he could. He’d use every resource he had to try to save Bucky, that was something Bucky had known for a long time, and that hadn’t changed. Never would change.

He drifted, and waited.

They’d stopped at a small waystation, one they weren’t familiar with, but there hadn’t been anything particularly suspicious about the place they could detect. They’d topped up their water reserves, and had taken the opportunity to repair one of their heat shields while docked. A small meteoroid had passed the protective field the way they sometimes did if the angle was just right, and hit the surface of their ship. Usually they just bounced off harmlessly, and even in this case its velocity had been lessened by the field enough that it hadn’t gone through the outer layer of their hull. The only damage had been on one of the heat shields, which hadn’t been a major cause of worry. They would have been fine as long as they stayed in space, but it could have been risky if they’d needed to land on a planet with an atmosphere. Since they’d had the necessary parts, Bucky had decided to conduct the repairs now rather than to wait.

He’d just finished the work, when mayhem had broken out. A ship nearby had exploded, and some of the debris had hit their ship, unfortunately also striking Bucky, breaking his tether and launching him out into space. He didn’t know if the explosion had been an accident or the result of some kind of aggression, he just cared whether it had damaged their ship. He hoped everything was fine, not just for himself, but for Steve as well. If the ship wasn’t flyable he hadn’t much hope of survival, but he wouldn’t be the one devastated by it. It would be Steve left behind.

There was a flash of worry, of the potential for very serious damage to the ship, of a hull breach and an explosive decompression. Bucky pushed that thought firmly away, because it wasn’t something he wanted to contemplate. He forced himself to keep his eyes closed and not start scanning the debris around him to see if there was anything he recognized from inside their ship.

He waited.

He didn’t know how long he’d waited, but finally there was a sense of presence near him. He wasn’t sure exactly how he could tell, if it was heat or some reflection through his eyelids, or just the general awareness of his surroundings, a skill he’d never been able to explain. Nonetheless, he knew something big was near him, and so he opened his eyes.

Relief flooded him, because he immediately recognized the specific white and blue of their ship, intact and flying. Steve had found him.

Now it was only a matter of getting back inside. It would have been easy if they’d had a transporter, but their ship was so small that having one wasn’t practical, and so they’d have to improvise. The lack of functioning communicator was another obstacle, but that at least could be overcome.

Bucky knew Steve would be flying; this was too delicate a maneuver to be left for the AI, which would be monitoring him instead, and projecting the image from the cameras to Steve’s screens. He was still spinning, so it was hard to keep track of the ship, but he tapped his finger against the communicator unit on his helmet, and after that waved his hand in a specific way. Steve would know he couldn’t hear. Then Bucky waved for Steve to come closer. It was the only chance they had; he’d have to grab a hold of the ship, and after that it would be a simple matter of getting to the airlock.

The ship started to inch closer to him, and Bucky did his best to keep track of their relative positions. He knew every inch of the ship, including exactly where the safety railings were, and where he would get a good hand hold. A few more seconds and he could try.

He reached out with his left hand, but he immediately realized he wouldn’t be able to grab a hold. Instead he used the fraction of a second he was in contact to try and steady himself. As a result he was bounced further away from the ship, but at least the spinning was considerably slowed down, and he was now confident that the next time he’d be successful.

Steve corrected the course of the ship, inched up close to him once more, and this time Bucky’s fingers closed around the railing. He steadied himself and pulled up against the hull. He didn’t let himself relax yet, though, but started to make his way toward the airlock, holding on to the railings carefully since he had no tether.

The airlock was open and waiting for him when he made it there, Steve’s anxious face visible through the window in the inner door. The door closed as soon as Bucky was in, and the pressure and artificial gravity started to equalize. Bucky automatically shifted according to the change in gravity the way he always did, except to his surprise his knees didn’t want to carry his weight; they were so shaky he sank to the floor and leaned his back to the wall. He waited for the light to turn green, and once it did he immediately fumbled with the latches of his helmet.

Then Steve was there, kneeling next to him and helping to ease the helmet off. He looked shaken and distraught, but Bucky could only smile at the sight of him. He’d held on to the belief that Steve would come for him while he’d been drifting, but it was still a relief to be together again.

“Hi, Steve,” he said, although it came out mostly as a croak. His mouth was dry and he was thirsty, he suddenly realized.

Steve’s response was to pull him into a hug, cling to him hard and press his face against Bucky’s cheek. He was shaking, the fright he must have had lingering over him, and Bucky knew he’d have to submit to a very thorough check for injuries. Now that the adrenaline was draining away, he could feel his side and hip aching, probably from the debris hitting him, but he could tell it was nothing serious. He’d be happy to let Steve look after him, though.

“I got you,” Steve mumbled against his skin, probably trying to convince himself at least as much as Bucky, but when he finally pulled back he was all determination again. “Come on, let’s get you out of the suit.” Bucky made an attempt to leer at the words, and Steve scrunched his nose, trying to look disapproving. “To check for injuries, Buck.”

Bucky didn’t resist while Steve removed his suit and insisted on supporting him back to their small med bay, where he sat on the padded table and Steve gently checked him all over, making sure he wasn’t seriously injured. There was a bruise blooming on his side and another over his hip, and Steve tutted when he saw them, carefully running his fingers over Bucky’s ribs to make sure they weren’t broken. There was one place that was a bit tender, but no movement, and Steve finally decided he would be fine with just rest, no need for bandages.

It was a much more thorough examination than Bucky’s injuries warranted, much more than Steve usually fussed over him, but Bucky let him work, understanding this was necessary. It took a moment for him to realize why exactly, but when he did, he gently grasped Steve’s wrist to stop him, and pulled him into a hug again.

“The whole time I drifted I knew you’d come for me.” He rubbed Steve’s back when he shuddered and let out a shaky breath, and reaffirmed, “You got me.”

He knew that even though he had never considered it Steve’s fault, Steve still blamed himself for what had happened on the train in 1945, for not catching Bucky, and for not trying to find him afterward. By now Bucky was resigned it would be a burden that would forever follow Steve, and so he just tried to make sure that it wouldn’t become something too big to carry by reassuring him whenever it popped up, and he hoped that what happened today would at least again reaffirm it even to Steve’s subconscious; that he could in fact reach Bucky on moments like this.

“That’s why I wasn’t afraid,” he added. “I knew you’d come if at all possible.”

Steve still didn’t say anything, but the tension finally left him, and he settled a bit more comfortably in the hug. “I’m saying, though, that unless we absolutely need to repair something before getting the hell away from here, we’re going somewhere safer before you take a look at the ship.”

“Did we get much damage from the debris?”

“Nothing critical, I don’t think, but there’s certainly more of the heat shield that’ll need changing.”

“Okay, I’ll take a look in a moment.”

“In a moment,” Steve affirmed, not moving at all from where he was still hugging Bucky, and Bucky leaned a bit more into him, perfectly comfortable right where he was.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Traveling in leisure.

Steve liked their ship, especially now that with the new shower they’d finally exhausted the initial list of things they’d wanted to fix or replace. Now everything was safe, practical, and comfortable. He liked all of it, but his favorite place was the observation room. It was part of the oxygen and kitchen garden rather than a fully separated room, and it resembled a short passage, because a living green wall of oxygen rich plants had been installed right across the room near the observation window. The wall separated the spaces almost fully, letting only enough light to trickle through that it never was fully dark by the window, not even when they were traveling through the void between stars.

They were cruising on autopilot, because the spacetime in the area they were passing through was just a bit too unstable, and hence didn’t allow for jumps. It would take them nearly ten days to reach the next jump point, and they’d planned to take advantage of the wait by taking care of some non-urgent maintenance and household tasks. They’d also spent a significant amount of time just relaxing, because they were returning from a relief mission during which even their enhanced biology had been pushed nearly to its limits. They’d done some good work, and Steve was happy, but he was also glad to be able to put his feet up, both figuratively and literally.

Right now he was lying on the bottom curve of the observation window. It bubbled out far enough that it was quite comfortable to sit or lie there, and if he angled his head toward the outside, he could see nothing but the space around them, a few young stars and thick clouds of matter dancing in between. He could even see some planets in the process of forming, and he wondered if in a few billion years they would sustain life.

He turned to look back inside again. It was almost like gravity, because whenever Bucky was nearby, Steve’s eyes inevitably turned back toward him. He was sitting on a cushion laid on the floor, cross legged and his back straight, wrists resting on his knees. His eyes were closed, and he made a perfect image of peacefulness.

Bucky had started meditating at some point during the two years before the mess with Zemo had happened, and he’d kept the habit throughout the years. Steve knew that even now that he was doing generally well, there were still times when his thoughts wanted to race toward past, wanted to dredge up all the horror and pain, focus on them and not let go. Meditating regularly helped with it, and Bucky devoted at least ten minutes every day to the practice. Whenever they were taking things easy, he could stay still for an hour at a time.

Steve had never been any good at meditating, even though he’d tried it with Bucky a few times. He tended to fidget, and he was never able to clear his mind if he was expected to just sit still with his eyes closed, or at least with his gaze soft enough he wasn’t really looking at anything. He’d heard from many sources that with practice one got better at it, but it had always felt counterintuitive, because trying just made him more frustrated. Instead he’d found something that was probably comparable to it in running. When he pushed himself, he could focus on the steady tap of his feet and not think of anything but where he was going and what was happening in his immediate surroundings.

It had been one of his worries when they’d left the Earth; to be confined in a relatively small spaceship for long stretches of time. They had exercise machines, including a treadmill, but it wasn’t the same. Treadmills on Earth hadn’t worked with his mind the way running forward had, and he’d been a little bit worried about getting antsy, although he hadn’t let it deter him, since his biggest worry had always been Bucky, who’d been raring to go.

He’d been surprised to find out that sitting or lying by the window and looking out to the vastness of space had been easy, had calmed his thoughts almost effortlessly. Before they’d departed with Bucky, his trips to space had always happened out of necessity and hence had never been very pleasant, and while he’d been eager to change the perception, he hadn’t expected to feel so at home out in the space soon after they’d left. The feeling of belonging had never lessened, and while Earth would forever be his birth home, he didn’t really miss living there anymore.

He turned back toward the outside, and enjoyed the calm of the space, the simple happiness of being on the way somewhere new, being with Bucky every step of the way.

The next day, after breakfast and completing the usual checks on the ship and their course forward and finding nothing to alarm them, they worked in the garden. It was funny to Steve, whenever he thought about it, that the first garden they’d ever had was on a spaceship. Bucky had helped with growing food in Wakanda for the community, and Steve had done likewise during the five years after the Vanishing when everything had been reorganized, and even more so after everyone had returned. Later, they’d had a yard at their home in New York, but it had never been the same, never quite like this.

Their garden was essential, in more ways than just the fact it replenished their oxygen supply and added to their food stores, giving them some variety. It was also vital to have a space that was full of life with them when they were traveling, especially on the longer trips when they only saw spaceports and didn’t step a foot on a planet for long periods of time. Looking out into the space calmed Steve’s mind, and working in the garden settled it. There were bots that monitored and maintained the plants, but some of the work needed to be done by hand. He liked looking after the plants, making sure they were strong and healthy, doing something people had for hundreds of generations already, if a bit more advanced version of it.

Today Bucky was checking the hydroponic system, making sure it distributed nutrients and water as needed, and Steve had some pepper and tomato seedlings that he needed to redistribute so that they’d have enough space to grow to full size. He got to work, and after the new plants were in place he made rounds to make sure everything was flourishing as well as they could. A couple of hours went past swiftly with easy work and chatter.

“We should make something with zucchini for lunch today,” Bucky said.

“Got a hankering?” Steve wiped his hands and went to fetch a basket and knife from the kitchen next door before heading where Bucky stood next to the zucchini plants.

“I do like them well enough, but it’s more that there are six of them here, and if we don’t eat them now, we’ll soon have to eat them the whole week.”

Steve came up, and indeed Bucky was right, the plants had been as productive as they best could. “They’re the best when they’re small, anyway.”

They gathered some tomatoes, onions, chili peppers, and garlic in addition to the zucchinis, and went to the kitchen to cook. Most of the plants they grew were from Earth, both because they like the taste of home they brought, but also because they digested more easily. During their years in space they’d eaten pretty much anything, but when it was just the two of them on their own ship, they liked to have at least part of their meal made of ingredients they’d known since they were young.

They’d had to learn new habits while living in space, including the fact that for safety and practicality’s sake everything not in use should be stowed away, which meant not leaving the dishes out after a meal. They didn’t have to wash them, the cleaning bots did it, but everything had to be stored at the correct places. Steve was wiping down the counter to finish up cleaning, when Bucky came behind him and latched onto him like a barnacle, nosing at his neck.

“You smell nice,” Bucky said, and Steve guessed he had about five seconds to finish before Bucky would drag him away.

“Okay, horndog,” Steve said and yelped when Bucky bit him on the neck. He had to lean on the counter when Bucky sucked at the bite, his knees trying to buckle from the pleasure, and he hastily reached to put the towel away before he turned to face Bucky. “Do your worst.”

Bucky grinned, and it was pure happiness in his eyes, an expression Steve knew he would never be tired of seeing. They’d been through more than they ever could have imagined, a lot of it not good, but they now had a chance to live the rest of their lives together, and Steve would never stop being grateful for it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A vacation in paradise.

“I wonder if it’s the same here as it is on Earth, that the sand on the islands is actually fish poop,” Steve said, staring out at the turquoise sea. He was shading his eyes as he gazed at the horizon, apparently unaware that Bucky had stopped in his tracks and was now staring at him.

“I,” Bucky started and paused, realizing he didn’t actually know what to say to it. “What?”

Steve glanced at him and his face broke into a grin. “Close your mouth, you’re gonna catch flies.”

It shook Bucky out of his surprise and he took the couple of steps needed to get to Steve. “Try to shut it yourself,” he said, knowing exactly where it would lead. 

As he’d predicted, Steve did shut him up with a kiss, which lead to a whole make out session, and soon Bucky was lying on the sand on his back with Steve on top of him, kissing him with all his worth. Bucky sank into the sensation. Kissing Steve was so familiar these days, but no less exhilarating for it. They’d been together for a long time already, long enough that he now believed it would never get old. He pulled Steve tighter on top of him, grabbing his ass and pushing up against him, reveling in the knowledge that there was no one else on the island, and that they could do whatever they wanted.

Well, almost. He squirmed, and Steve pulled away a bit.

“What?”

“I’ve got sand under my shirt,” Bucky said, and when Steve dissolved into giggles, he poked him on the side, with no avail. “You’re thinking of fish shit again, aren’t you? Where did you get that from, anyway?”

Steve pulled himself together, letting out a few more chuckles, before folding his hands on top of Bucky’s chest and leaning his chin on them. “Come on, Buck, I’m pretty sure you watched those documentaries about coral reefs with me. There are fish who eat coral and pass the hard part out as sand, that’s how all the beaches on the islands like this on Earth were formed. Although, obviously you get sand in other ways, too.”

“Glacial erosion,” Bucky added.

“Right, but considering this area is composed of just shallow seas, little islands like this, and reefs, I’d say fish poop is the more likely cause here.”

“Probably.” Bucky faintly remembered seeing the documentaries now that Steve had brought them up. It was just that Steve was generally more interested in nature documentaries than he was, he didn’t really focus on them like Steve did. “So, does that mean you want to get up, or?”

Steve grinned. “You’re the one who complained about the sand, not me.”

“It is kind of annoying,” Bucky admitted. “And I’m hungry.”

“Mood killer,” Steve chided. “Let’s go find something to eat, then, and a blanket.”

“Pretty sure it was you who started about the fish shit,” Bucky said, but let Steve pull him up to his feet and help shake the fine white sand from underneath his shirt.

They were taking a bit of a vacation after pushing themselves hard on relief and rescue missions, and the location they’d chosen looked like it came straight from a fantasy beach advert. The whole planet was strange, it was mostly covered by sea, with a lot of small islands formed around and from coral reefs near the equator where the temperatures were constantly warm. Closer to poles there was no land, just the ocean and then ice if you went far enough.

Life on the planet was still in its relatively early stages of development, in that there was plenty of life in the sea, but no animals had yet ventured to land. There were plants, though, smaller and larger, plenty of grasses and many that looked like huge ferns, but no flowers that Bucky had seen. All in all, the islands were very pleasant vacation spots. There were a lot of regulations; access was controlled and they couldn’t leave anything on the planet, but it suited them well, being able to relax on their very own island for a few days.

“What number is this now?” Steve asked.

“Huh?” It took a moment for Bucky to catch his meaning. “Oh, thirty-seven, I think.”

When they’d married it had been a small and discreet affair, and because the universe at the time hadn’t respected their wishes, there had been a crisis that had demanded their attention right after. They’d taken it very much in stride at the time, agreeing that it had been good that the day itself hadn’t been disturbed. They hadn’t managed a honeymoon, though, but some time later they’d been on a vacation in a spot that would have been perfect for one, and they’d called it their replacement honeymoon. The habit had carried to every subsequent vacation they’d had in picture perfect locations.

A paradise island fit the bill perfectly, even when they had to cook their own food, and do all the other chores by themselves.

They took a swim in the afternoon, since there were reportedly no dangerous fish in the shallows, and their enhanced physique would be able to handle the foreign bacteria in the water. After the swim they napped in a bed they’d made in the shadow of the fern trees, ate some of the snacks they’d brought, read, and Steve even sketched. It was a perfectly leisurely afternoon. They made a proper dinner, because neither of them wanted to be cranky due to not having had a substantial enough meal, and when they were done and everything was put away, it suddenly became impossible to keep their hands off each other, so they didn’t even try.

When darkness had fallen and they were satisfied in every way, they spread a blanket out on the sand away from the trees so that they had an unobstructed view of the sky. Steve was resting his head on Bucky’s shoulder, and Bucky had bent the arm under him so that he could run his fingers over Steve’s collarbone, mindlessly caressing him. All their attention was focused upward, because the spectacle in the sky was something they’d never seen before.

They’d seen the aurora near the poles of the Earth, some fantastic displays where the light danced across the sky in greens and yellows, even red, purple, and blue. It had been amazing, unforgettable, and while what they saw now wasn’t the same nor would it dim their previous experience, it was similarly breathtaking.

The star the planet orbited was very active, sending out solar wind in much larger volumes than the sun near the Earth did. A magnetic field protected the planet allowing life to flourish, but it didn’t stop everything. Here the aurora wasn’t visible only on the poles, but everywhere around the planet, even the islands near the equator. There were regularly more colors than there tended to be on Earth, due to the different composition of the upper atmosphere and the solar wind, and it was as if countless rainbows were dancing up in the sky, almost blotting out the stars with their brightness. The colors were reflected on the sea, glittering across the waves. It was an awe-inspiring display, well worth the stories they’d heard of the place.

Bucky smiled, because it was impossible not to. It was the kind of beauty he’d never known to imagine, and he was free and happy, he was with Steve who was constant as always, had loved him through the years. He’d long ago stopped wondering if he deserved all this, because there was no point; instead, he was just grateful for all the days of happiness he had, both the mundane and exceptional.

“When you were little, reading Verne and wanting to go to space, did you ever imagine it would be like this?” Steve asked.

Bucky found himself grinning even harder, because Steve had reminded him of something he hadn’t thought of in a very long time. When young, he indeed had wanted to go to space, and truth be told, even with all the pulp novels he’d read, he hadn’t had an inkling of what to expect, and yet some things were the same.

“I think I expected other planets to be more barren, not a prehistoric paradise like this. I did get something right, though.”

“What’s that?”

“I always imagined it would be the two of us, going wherever we wanted.”

“Well, even a broken clock is right twice a day,” Steve said, and yelped when Bucky tickled him in retaliation.

They fell into quiet again, just looking at the display that nature had put out for them. In the end, Steve was the one to speak first.

“Remember that day before you shipped out? You came to find me and said we’d go to the future.”

“Yeah, I remember. You were getting punched, as usual.”

“At the end of the war, when I actually ended up in what was very much the future for me, I remembered your words, and they felt like a cruel joke.”

Bucky nodded, even though Steve could probably only feel him shifting a bit. “Yeah, I definitely get that.”

“I don’t mind this future, though,” Steve added, and now he was definitely smiling, it was obvious in the brightness of his voice.

Bucky pulled him a bit closer, hooking their ankles together. “Yeah, it is pretty great, all things considered.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An evening after a workday.

During the war Steve had done his share of digging and building bunkers and dugouts even though their team’s success had been largely based on its mobility. Sometimes there hadn’t been ready targets available, and since everyone had been aware Steve wasn’t good at just sitting and waiting, they’d spent some time in the trenches. He’d been more familiar with setting up and breaking temporary camps, their team having figured out a system that took the least possible amount of time and meant they’d rarely had to leave their supplies behind, but he wasn’t completely out of his element when he had to work on more permanent shelters.

All of that experience had been gained more than two hundred years earlier, a fact Steve usually tried to not think about, because the concept of their long lives was still hard to process most of the time. He knew the only reason he could bear it was that he knew others who had equally long lives, and especially that Bucky was here with him, similarly young-old as he was.

Ever since leaving the Earth and deciding to try to help with relief efforts, the old skills in building had come handy. They were at yet another natural disaster zone, because with countless planets within reach, the probability of some place needing help had grown exponentially compared to working just within the bounds of their birth planet, and while it was sometimes hard, it fulfilled a need inside Steve to do something to help people. Currently, he was building shelters for the displaced, which, though temporary, would still need to be able to handle the relatively volatile weather on the moon they were on. His enhanced strength made him very useful when it came to propping up beams and lifting building material up high, allowing those more skilled than him to focus on putting everything together.

Bucky was always nearby, often working right by his side, but that day there had been some kind of a problem with the water filtration system, and since he was very familiar with such things, having to keep their ship in operation, Bucky had offered his help to make sure the critical system would be up and running as soon as possible. 

They worked all through the day, stopping only when it became dark. There wasn’t power to spare for illuminating the building grounds well enough to make it safe, and with darkness the temperature dropped fast. Even Steve, who could handle the harsher conditions better than most, was glad to stop and head back to the camp for dinner. The water filtration system worked once more, and so he quickly washed himself before going to look for Bucky.

They’d had to park their ship some distance away, far enough that it wasn’t practical going back every day, and so they slept at the camp with the other helpers and the refugees that hadn’t yet been able to move into the more permanent residences. It wasn’t always easy for him, and even less so for Bucky, to be constantly surrounded by crowds, but they could handle it for the period of time needed. After the situation had stabilized they’d be on the way again, just the two of them on the ship.

Bucky was already in the middle of his dinner, a bowl of soup and a mug of hot tea with some flat bread, and Steve went to get his own portion before sitting down next to him. To keep up with their caloric requirements they added some protein bars from their own stores to every meal and had them for snacks as well, since most people didn’t need as much food as they did, and they had similar shares as everyone else. It was fair, they could feed themselves, but it was nice having something warm and hearty after the workday, especially with the cold already creeping around.

“Did you get the roof up?” Bucky asked.

Steve swallowed a mouthful of soup, which was rich and flavorful in a very familiar way. “Yeah, three more buildings to go, and no one will need to sleep in tents anymore. Was the problem with the water system serious?”

“No, just some clogging. We took care of it, and inspected the whole thing. Should work fine from now on. I finished early enough to go back to check on the ship.”

“Ah. I was wondering about the soup, tastes familiar. The garden is doing well, I guess.”

“There were twelve big zucchinis and about fifty tomatoes. A whole bunch of kale too. Our stasis storage is full, so I just brought them over.”

“Better that they get eaten than spoiled,” Steve agreed. “Nice for everyone to have some variety since the new greenhouses here aren’t producing at full volume yet.”

“And I brought some of these,” Bucky said, and handed a protein bar to Steve. It was the flavor that was practically like chocolate, even though there wasn’t cocoa in it since it had been produced off Earth. They were Steve’s favorites.

“I thought we’d run out.”

“I’d stashed a few, for emergencies.”

Steve made a show of side-eyeing Bucky, even though he was very pleased. “I don’t think this qualifies as an emergency.”

“You’ve made faces at your snacks for the last four days, and since we’re almost done and can soon stock up again, it seemed like a good time.”

Steve leaned in, pressed a quick kiss of thanks on Bucky’s cheek, and stayed close while he munched on the bar. It did cheer him up, as did Bucky’s gesture, which was familiar all the way from their childhood. Bucky had always had a tendency to do regular small services for those he cared about. Small acts of kindness and thoughtfulness that added up and painted a very clear picture of who he was at the core. Whenever Steve thought of it, he had to be grateful that Hydra hadn’t managed to extinguish it. The fact that his friend was still himself despite all he’d been through spoke of the kind of strength of character Steve had always known Bucky possessed.

They drank the last of the tea as they sat together, not taking part in any of the conversations around them. The night was full of bluish light reflected into the atmosphere from the gas giant which the moon they were on revolved around. It made the times of day sometimes hard to parse, since there were two light sources around, the sun and the planet. Depending on their relative positions the nights were sometimes very light, and solar eclipses during the day were relatively frequent.

Soon enough people started saying goodnight to each other, because they worked long hours, and most needed all the sleep they could get. They’d be back to work again bright and early the next day. Steve wasn’t yet particularly sleepy, but when Bucky shivered next to him he suggested they should turn in too. It would be nice and cozy in the tent.

When they’d first started taking part in these kinds of relief missions that needed them to camp outside, they’d decided to make it at least as comfortable as they could, which meant getting a good insulated mattress and a warm sleeping bag that fit them both. They tended to sleep wrapped up in each other unless it was very hot, and it helped them with handling the jobs if they didn’t have to disrupt the habit.

They brushed their teeth and settled into the corner of the tent they shared with some of the other workers. It was divided with curtains into sections not much larger than the space a mattress took to give everyone at least some privacy, but sound obviously carried. It wasn’t completely their own space, but it was better than having to sleep in full view of dozens of other people for weeks on end.

Bucky was still shivering when they slipped into the sleeping bag, so Steve pulled him into his arms and rubbed at his back until their combined heat had made the bag toasty and Bucky had relaxed under his ministrations. Bucky’s face was tucked against Steve’s throat, and today sleep came easy for him, since he drifted away only minutes after they’d warmed up.

Steve still wasn’t particularly sleepy, but he let his mind wander. He ran his hand through Bucky’s hair, lightly massaging his scalp and smoothing out the tangles very carefully so as to not wake him again. There were some whispered conversations in several languages held nearby, but Steve let them wash over him, not trying to pick up the words. Against him Bucky grew heavier as he fell deeper into sleep, a clear sign he felt safe where they were. With that knowledge Steve too closed his eyes and tried to follow him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exciting times on an ice planet.

“You know,” Steve shouted over his shoulder, “this wasn’t the kind of stroll I was imagining.”

“Less talking, more running,” Bucky shouted back at him, and swore when he nearly tripped on a small crack in the ice when he tried to get a read on his wrist computer. Predictably Steve slowed down to check on him, and Bucky pushed his back to urge him forward again. “No dawdling.”

“Says the one who can’t even stay upright,” Steve called back to him.

He didn’t appear to be too concerned, and to be fair neither was Bucky even though they were being chased by a large furry  _ something _ the planet’s records had neglected to mention. It was fairly fast, but so were they, even when they couldn’t run flat out on the uneven ice. It wasn’t gaining on them, but neither was it significantly falling behind, and they both knew it would be better to find shelter, because running was still a risk.

“Is that a cave?” Steve pointed to a shadow on the side of a hill some distance away, and Bucky sent their drone to investigate ahead while they curved toward it.

The scans came back soon, and it was with good news. “It is, and large enough to fit us but not whatever that thing is.”

They gave it another burst of speed, heading for the cave, and soon they were safely inside. It wasn’t that much warmer there than outside, but at least they were sheltered from the wind, and could take off the goggles and the scarves wrapped around their faces. The angry pile of fur outside screamed in disappointment, but unfortunately didn’t give up and leave. Instead it stomped to and fro outside, sometimes pressing its face against the entrance.

“Guess we’re waiting it out, then,” Steve said, and heaved the pack off his back.

He’d barely said so when they heard the animal make another sound, this time appearing to move farther away. 

“Is it leaving, after all?” Bucky said, peering toward the mouth of the cave. He couldn’t see much, so he sent the drone out again.

“It might just want to make us think it has left,” Steve pointed out, echoing Bucky’s thoughts. “What does Redwing see?”

Ever since leaving the Earth, they’d named each one of their successive light surveillance drones Redwing in honor of Sam. Even though it had been a long time since those first years after Bucky had been freed, and they’d made a lot of friends since then, the first friendships were held dear in their hearts, and they had small mementos for each of them.

“Technically he sees nothing, since he doesn’t have eyes,” Bucky muttered an old joke while scanning the view on his screen. “Oh, there it is. It looks like it’s really leaving. Going fast, too, as if it’s scared of something.”

“The scanners picking anything up?”

“It’s the only source of heat anywhere near, but that might be deceptive,” Bucky said, maneuvering the drone into a loop to look around, and swore when the wind grabbed at it, almost making him lose control. “Shit, if that’s what I think it is, we’re in for a long night.” He ran the short distance to the mouth of the cave and shielded his eyes from the wind, peering at the horizon.

“Bucky, what—” Steve started, following at his heels, but stopped when he saw the sky to the west, or more precisely, the mass of flying snow that covered it. “Looks like it was the smart one to hightail it out of here.”

“Yeah.” Bucky caught Redwing when it returned. “Let’s take shelter.”

They went back into the cave, shining out lights in front of them, going deeper inside until the ice ended and they were in a small cavern where the floor was covered with bare earth. There was even a low shelf by the wall that was completely dry, and spacious enough to fit both of them. Perfect place to set up a camp.

They weren’t that worried even now, they’d known snowstorms occasionally happened on the planet, and they’d prepared for the possibility. Usually the bad weather didn’t last long, they’d packed enough supplies to comfortably camp out for several days, and their ship had its shields and stabilizers, not to mention an AI that would make sure it was safe. The fact that they’d found a cave and wouldn’t have to make shelter outside made it very simple for them.

It was a bit warmer being away from the ice, but still not warm, and if they’d been stranded like this back in the day on Earth during the war, they would have been in trouble because of the lack of firewood. Now that they lived literally in space age they had many technological marvels that not only made everything easier, were relatively small and lightweight as well. Bucky fiddled with the settings of his flashlight so that rather than a focused beam it gave out a more ambient glow, and fixed it high up on the wall from where it lit up enough of the cave that they could work easily. After that he took out their small portable radiator. It wouldn’t be enough to warm up the whole cave, but it did make things more comfortable. In the meantime Steve had set up their small stove, and some ice he’d fetched was melting in the pot and their tea things were out and ready.

“We should change,” Bucky reminded Steve, already digging out the extra thermal layers they’d brought. The ones he wore were damp from the earlier running, and he knew very well that being dry was a requisite to being warm.

Steve took the change of clothes from him and soon they were dry and comfortable, the warm outer layers back on for now. Steve busied himself with their tea and meal, while Bucky spread out their mattress and sleeping bag, and attached a wire between the walls to hang out their clothes to dry.

They ate quickly and slipped into their sleeping bag right after. It wasn’t very late yet, but it would be easier to stay warm in there, with the well-insulated bag trapping their body heat, and the radiator making sure they wouldn’t have to tuck their heads inside. They kept hats on, but at least they’d be able to breathe outside. It was very comfortable, considering it was an emergency camp.

Bucky was lying on his back, with Steve half on top of him, face buried into the crook of his neck. It was a familiar position from a long time ago, from when they’d been teenagers having sleepovers while Steve’s mother had been working nights, from when they’d lived together in Brooklyn as young adults, from the war time, from countless times after they’d reconnected. As always, Bucky ran his fingers down Steve’s back, counting the vertebra. They were perfectly aligned now, unlike in their youth when they’d used to make a sort of sideways S, pulling Steve’s hips and shoulders to different heights. All those worries were long behind them now, but the habit still lingered.

“The next time we explore some place for fun, we make sure first that there are no huge animals or treacherous weather,” Bucky said, and mostly felt Steve’s answering laughter. He was slightly disappointed when Steve extracted himself enough to look at him, immediately missing the contact.

“I do kind of like this, though,” Steve said.

“To be stranded on an ice planet?”

“Well, it could be much worse, for one. Could be like Luke and Han on that ice planet in Star Wars.”

“You’re right, this is much better than camping out in the entrails of an animal, but that’s a pretty low bar to clear.”

“It’s just, I don’t know, I can’t really explain it. All the reasons why I like it here are things that I have anyway. I’m with you, we see new places, we can do whatever we want. But it just feels different, like this.”

“Are you now living for the child you were that couldn’t go camping just for the sake of it? I’d have thought you got enough of this during the war already,” Bucky said but grinned when Steve huffed.

“It’s not the same and you know it.”

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

Steve tucked himself back under Bucky’s chin, and Bucky resumed running fingers over his back. He did sort of understand, and he couldn’t have really explained it either, how despite the treacherous conditions and relative discomfort compared to their ship this was somehow special, somehow even more private and isolated than the ship was. It was truly just the two of them here, relying on themselves and each other, and it felt good, felt like everything Bucky truly needed stripped to its bare bones. It was a reminder he cherished, even though he’d be happy to get back and have a nice hot shower.

They woke up before dawn the next day, both having slept well. Bucky sent Redwing out to scout before he even bothered to come out of the sleeping bag, because if the storm was still raging he might as well try and sleep a bit more. Turned out, it was perfectly clear, the wind had died down, and it was even colder than the previous day.

They had breakfast and packed their things, deciding to take advantage of the good weather to get back to their ship, because even though they’d somewhat enjoyed their stay, they didn’t want to risk getting stranded. They wrapped up well, making sure there was no exposed skin, and set out at dawn.

The glow of the rising star the planet orbited colored the atmosphere with every color imaginable, at first there were just hints of it, but it strengthened by the moment as sunrise neared. It was breathtakingly beautiful, and as they crested a hill they paused just to watch as both the sky and the snow and ice were bathed in color.

“You know,” Bucky said, pulling Steve’s hand into his, “as much as it disgusts me to admit you were right, this is pretty spectacular.”

He couldn’t see Steve’s face under the scarf he’d wrapped around it, but he knew Steve was grinning anyway, and probably even more so a moment later, when the sun finally crested the horizon, and the ice shone with the brightness of every jewel imaginable for a moment.

“That’s definitely a sight I never could have imagined,” Steve said, and Bucky silently agreed.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even boredom can be a good thing.

When he was in space for the first time, strapped in a seat on an alien ship that contained technology from far away and also seemed to be held together by scrap and prayer, heading out on a desperate mission, Steve never could have imagined that one day he’d find space travel boring. Nowadays it was so, on occasion at least. They’d had their own ship for so long that it had become mundane, the tasks that were vital to their continued survival were a worn pattern on their daily life.

There was a danger lying in the mindset, because if the tasks started to feel mundane, they would automatically feel less important as well, and it would become easier and easier to trust everything was okay with a cursory check rather than performing a careful inspection as one was supposed to. Even though everything had been fine all the thousands of times before, it didn’t mean that on that particular occasion there wouldn’t be a seed of a problem that could lead to a catastrophe if it went unnoticed. Many a seasoned space traveler had met their end due to carelessness.

The AIs mitigated the danger somewhat, because they could monitor the majority of the systems and always did the tasks perfectly, but there were still things a person was needed for. Steve and Bucky were conscious of the danger and tried to lessen it by making the tasks variable within the framework of safety, exchanging them as much as they could, and following checklists. It still didn’t change the fact that sometimes they just got bored, especially on longer legs when they couldn’t do jumps, and many similar days followed each other.

Bucky usually handled the boredom better out of the two of them, which Steve knew he considered helpful even though the reasons why it was easier for him mostly stemmed from having developed the skill while under Hydra’s power. Steve tended to get restless more easily. He’d never been good at staying put, and the routine of the long hauls often grated on his nerves. It was the reason they’d explored so many planets and moons; because when bored, even an uninhabited small rock was variety.

Today he’d done the scheduled inspection of the flight systems, and it had actually felt better when he’d found a frayed part that had needed changing. The damage in turn had been caused by a small deformation in the bulkhead, which he’d fixed along with changing the part. He knew feeling good about it wasn’t very rational, because the potential failure of the part might have escalated into something dire if it had happened during a critical situation. He’d followed up with having the AI check the logs to see what might have caused the bulkhead to shift, and determined it had been due to an earlier hit by debris they’d taken. The shields had absorbed most of the impact, but there had been one hit to the fuselage near the seal of the bulkhead, and the damage fit the forces recorded. They’d repaired the outer wall, but hadn’t noticed the edge of the bulkhead. Steve was glad to find the cause, and even more so that it was an isolated incident, not something chronic with the ship which would have needed larger maintenance.

Working on the problem had taken some time, but now that he was through his checklist, and Bucky was still in the middle of an inspection of the life support systems, he was without company. He killed some time in the garden, snipping off dead leaves and picking ripe produce, but there was nothing much to do, because everything was thriving under the care of the bots, and no seedlings needed to be moved.

Steve stood in the middle of the garden, contemplating on going to the observation window and trying to relax, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to, not today. Instead he turned toward the kitchen, deciding to make something more labor-intensive than their usual fare.

Steve liked to cook in general, even though a lot of the time they didn’t put too much effort in it. On occasion it was nice to spend a bit more time on it, to make something special. He wasn’t a top talent by any means, but he had enough experience to be able to make something delicious.

“Did you bake bread?”

Bucky walked into the kitchen, and only then Steve really processed the fact that he’d noticed the faint sounds of maintenance stop a while ago, and that he’d heard Bucky’s steps coming closer. “I had the time.”

“And energy, I see,” Bucky pointed out, and Steve knew he could see right through him, knew exactly where this burst of productivity had come from. “Smells good.”

They took their time eating, talking about the results of the inspections and repairs performed, and from there they continued to the expectations they had of their destination, a planet they hadn’t yet visited. Steve was nicely distracted all the way through the meal with Bucky’s ankle hooked around his.

After the meal, they cleaned the kitchen, and if Steve scrubbed all the surfaces a bit more thoroughly than was absolutely necessary, Bucky kindly ignored it. He made tea while Steve worked, choosing a blend that smelled calming, and Steve was aware he would have bristled at it in his younger days, but he was over it at least somewhat, and was able to admit that it was good to be taken care of, even in small things like this. He stepped into the garden again, because he remembered the small lemon tree they’d brought on board the last time they visited Earth had produced fruit, and one of them had looked nearly ripe the last time he’d checked.

The lemon hanging from the low branch was perfectly yellow, just right, and so he picked it, noting happily that there were a few more ripening also. Bucky smiled his thanks when Steve handed the lemon to him. He liked to have slices of it in his tea, which was the primary reason why Steve had found the tree for them. He accepted the mug Bucky handed to him soon after, and let himself be pulled to the observation room.

Usually Steve liked to sit or lie on the window, as if surrounded by the stars, but now he settled down on the cushions by their green wall, because he wanted to be near Bucky. It was a desire that would never be completely extinguished, but there were moments when the need flared especially strong, and now Steve didn’t want to resist it.

“Still bored and restless?” Bucky asked after they’d spent a few comfortable minutes sipping tea and enjoying the scenery, which admittedly wasn’t much to write home about right then, because there were only some distant stars visible against the black expanse.

“I’m okay, I wasn’t that bored,” Steve reflexively denied, but grinned when Bucky scoffed at him. “Fine, yes, I was. But when I think of it, it’s pretty incredible, isn’t it? That life like this can be boring sometimes.”

“It is,” Bucky said, and turned from the window to look at Steve. “So what will you be chasing next to avoid boredom?”

The question was asked lightly, but Steve detected a layer of seriousness under the playfulness. It would have been easy to take the question as a reference to their numerous spontaneous explorations, but Steve heard more in it, a question of whether he wanted to go after a different, more exciting life. It was the question that needed answering, even though he suspected Bucky would rather he didn’t really notice the worry underneath. Steve did, and he wanted to address it, because he never wanted Bucky to doubt anything about the two of them.

“I think I’ve figured out by now, that in any life there are ebbs and flows, and even though I still don’t deal very well with boredom, I’ve learned to appreciate it, because it means all is good, even when it’s not exciting. And this life has everything I want, I don’t need anything more.” He set his now empty mug on the floor and pressed closer to Bucky, nuzzling at his neck. “I’m never bored with you.”

Bucky laughed, squirming where Steve’s beard must have tickled him, and also reached out to put his mug away. “I believe you, don’t worry. But I have a few ideas about how to make this afternoon even less boring.” His voice was low with desire, and when he pushed Steve on the cushions and rolled on top of him Steve could feel him getting hard, same as he was. He ran his hand down Bucky’s back and pushed up against him, enjoying the feel of Bucky’s warm body over him.

“You should definitely show me what you have in mind,” Steve said, grinning.

Bucky did too, starting by kissing him so thoroughly nothing else mattered.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes tempers flare.

It was inevitable, that spending all the time together meant there were times when they got annoyed with each other. Sometimes the mere proximity was enough, sometimes it was something one or the other did or said that triggered it. They were both stubborn, and they both had a temper, even though it manifested in different ways. Steve tended to be quicker to anger, to boil over, while for Bucky it was a slow simmer underneath, leading him to be quiet and withdrawn, snippy and even passive aggressive when it was bad enough.

They’d been hard pressed recently, working on yet another disaster zone. They’d done all they could, but the situation had been such that even that felt too little too late, and when they’d finally left after deciding they weren’t able to be that useful anymore, they hadn’t felt the usual sense of accomplishment. On the way out they’d had a moderately serious malfunction on their ship, and while it hadn’t been life-threatening, it had added to the stress. They hadn’t been able to perform more than one jump at a time, so it had taken them several days to reach a spaceport where they’d been able to dock and conduct the repairs needed. Tensions had been high, and a while ago Steve had asked a careless question about how long it would take to fix everything. Bucky’s reply had been to tell him he didn’t want any help, spicing it with a strong implication that he thought the failure might have been Steve’s fault because of his piloting style. At that point, probably for the best, Steve had stormed off and left him alone.

It was several hours later, when Bucky finally finished the repairs. He was dirty and ravenous, his back was aching from having stayed still in an awkward position for too long, and he was so tired he could have gone right into a bed and fall immediately asleep, but the dirt and hunger needed to be taken care of first.

He took a quick, perfunctory shower before heading to the kitchen to eat. He kept the meal simple, some fruit and protein bars, which would give him enough calories to last him over night. It was only when he was tidying up that he realized Steve wasn’t around, that Bucky hadn’t seen him since telling him to leave some hours earlier. Now that everything worked again, he was much less irritated and could admit to himself he’d been out of line suggesting any of it had been Steve’s fault. He knew Steve was just as careful as Bucky was when it came to their ship, because it was their only thread to safety. That Steve had stormed off hadn’t been surprising, but normally he tended to cool off faster than Bucky did, and honestly Bucky would have expected him to come see him now that it was clear he was finished.

He first looked into the observation room, but wasn’t really surprised that Steve wasn’t there, because the view was filled by a huge space freighter parked nearby. Steve wasn’t in the garden, either, and Bucky already knew he wasn’t at their sleeping quarters, since he’d changed there. If they had been traveling, he would have needed to check a few other places, but since they were docked the cockpit was an unlikely place for Steve to be, and when Bucky asked, he wasn’t at all surprised when the AI informed him Steve wasn’t on board.

A moment earlier he’d been ready to go to bed, but suddenly he couldn’t, the uncertainty made him too jittery. Instead, he made a mug of tea and went to the observation room even though the view wasn’t as peaceful as usual. It was better than sitting by the door, waiting, and he’d hear it through the ship if Steve came back.

He took a moment to think it through, and realized Steve had been gone for over four hours already, and that it was nearing the time they usually went to sleep. Minutes passed and there was no sign of Steve, and when Bucky’s tea ran out, he admitted he was feeling just a bit anxious. Not for Steve’s safety, because the spaceport they were at was very peaceful, safe even for people much less capable of taking care of themselves than Steve. He was worried about the reason why Steve would want to stay away for so long, even taking the argument into account.

Five hours later Bucky was still up. He was tired enough that it was difficult to focus, but he couldn’t go to bed, not while Steve still hadn’t returned. He’d considered going out to look for him, but had decided to sit tight for now. It was still within the realm of possibility that Steve was just taking the time he needed to blow off steam, at least close enough to convince Bucky of it. In a few hours it would most likely be different, he wouldn’t be able to wait anymore.

There was a moment his thoughts took an ugly turn, made him fleetingly consider that perhaps Steve hadn’t come back because he’d found some other company, but Bucky pushed the thought away as soon as it emerged. He knew it wasn’t the case, Steve wouldn’t do so. He also knew that sometimes one couldn’t help but consider the worst of someone else. He tried to put it behind himself because it was the only reasonable course of action, no use dwelling in a momentary ugliness inside his own head. It wouldn’t help anyone.

The guilt hadn’t quite filtered away yet when Bucky heard the telltale sound of the hatch opening. He listened to Steve’s steps, going first to their quarters and then to the kitchen, and from there Steve called out Bucky’s name.

“In here,” Bucky called back, somehow still hesitant to move and go to Steve, but wanting to have him close at the same time.

There was a furrow on Steve’s brow, just visible in the dimness of the room when he appeared. He paused at the doorway, hesitating, and Bucky raised his hand, beckoning him closer. He was relieved to see at least some of the tension bleed out from Steve when he came and dropped down on the cushions to lie next to him, on his side turned toward him. Their faces were inches apart.

“You’re not in bed,” Steve said.

“Neither are you.” It was the only reason Bucky had, and Steve seemed to understand, a small smile quirking his lips. “I’m sorry I said the problem was your fault,” Bucky continued.

“I’m sorry I was impatient,” Steve countered. “I know it’s not easy, and you’re really good at taking care of our ship.”

Bucky smiled, too, and rolled to his side, wrapping an arm around Steve’s waist. “I’m glad you’re back. I worried because you took longer than usual.”

“Sorry, I should have called. I was already on my way back through the tech district, when one of the shops there suddenly collapsed. I stayed to help get everyone out.”

Bucky realized only then that Steve was covered in dust more thoroughly than would have happened during a walk, and that there were abrasions on his arm. “Was it bad? Do they know why it happened?”

“Not yet, but it was one of the old buildings, some people said it had been only a matter of time. They were lucky inside, though, it collapsed in a way that left them trapped but not under pressure, so we just needed to get them out. Some light injuries, that’s all.”

“Okay, good. Go get a shower, I’ll find something for you to eat before bed.”

Bucky, despite being tired, felt at least a bit energized merely for having Steve back, and with something to do. He made a snack for Steve and, on second thought, enough for himself as well, because it had already been several hours since he last ate. They didn’t have much energy to talk about anything while they ate and got ready for bed, but it didn’t matter, they’d already said enough. The argument was behind them and the air clear. Bucky knew they’d most likely sleep well and long.

He woke up with his left arm tight around Steve’s waist, probably tighter than was strictly comfortable, but even so Steve was relaxed against him, face pressed to his throat and hand lazily stroking along his back. The screen next to the bed told Bucky he’d been asleep for over eleven hours.

“Have you been awake long?” he asked Steve.

“Just a bit.” Steve pulled back and Bucky relinquished his hold enough that they could look at each other.

“I’m glad, you know,” Steve said.

“Of what?”

“That we can handle things like what happened yesterday this well. We can blow up at each other and all that, and we get over the insecurity that comes with it fairly quickly. I remember a time when after something like that we would have had to walk on eggshells for a while, and I’m glad it’s easier now.”

It was true, there had been times when their relationship had been more fragile, and they’d had to keep their tempers in check, because back then the thoughtless things they might have said to each other would have wounded more permanently. These days the words still hurt momentarily, but they had learned to rely on each other and push over the hurt and embarrassment, to ask for and allow forgiveness. It was a very precious thing.

“I’m glad, too,” Bucky said. “Of that, and many other things.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes there is only so much one can do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Some discussion of past/potential alcoholism.

Steve couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so exhausted. He was sitting at their kitchen table, trying to eat while leaning on his elbow. He needed the calories, but he was so tired that getting them inside him was almost more effort than he could spare, even when they’d gone for the easiest possible choice with protein bars, nuts, and drinks that contained just the right amount of electrolytes. He also doubted he’d be able to sleep despite the exhaustion.

Bucky and Carol were in a similar state as he was; half-dressed in their uniforms, exhausted, trying to eat. They hadn’t talked to each other since they got back on the ship, they didn’t have the energy, but Steve thought they probably didn’t have words either, not for what they’d witnessed.

Steve actually did sleep a bit that night, although more accurately one probably should have said he spent some time passed out, his mind shutting itself down until the most pressing need for recuperation had been taken care of. He was woken up by a nightmare, a confusing mess of images that he couldn’t make any sense of, but that left a cold dread in his stomach.

As luck would have it, Bucky hadn’t been woken up by his nightmare and was still deep asleep. Steve was too restless to stay in bed, and he slipped away, tucking the blankets around Bucky so that he wouldn’t get cold.

Steve padded out of their room, heading toward the general area, and didn’t bother to ask for any more light from the AI. The emergency lights were enough for him since he knew their whole ship like the back of his hand. His steps inevitably led him to the observation room, but when he got there, he found out he wasn’t the only one having trouble sleeping. Carol had gone to the quest quarters earlier, but now she was here, sitting at the window.

“Did you get any sleep?” Steve asked.

“A couple of hours. I don’t need as much as I used to when I was fully human, but this isn’t ideal.” She shrugged, feeling probably much like Steve in that there was nothing they could do about it.

“Same for me. It will probably take a while before sleeping is easy again,” Steve admitted, sitting on the window next to her and looking out.

The scale of destruction was perfectly on display in front of them, the broken district a stark contrast to the bright lights of the still intact parts of the city, and there was debris floating all around. They still didn’t know what had caused the barriers to fail, only that parts of the city district had suddenly decompressed, throwing countless inhabitants out into the vacuum of space, and leaving others trapped in small areas that had stayed intact, unable to make their way to the still safe parts of the city.

Steve, Bucky, and Carol had been nearby, so they’d answered the distress call and had spent countless hours rescuing those who were still alive, getting them to the safer parts of the city. It had been heartrending work, because it had appeared that for every life they saved, there were a dozen for whom it was too late, and they hadn’t even started recovering the bodies from outside, because all the efforts had been needed to protect the living. It was a choice Steve understood well, the only right choice, but it didn’t mean his heart hadn’t been broken bit by bit every time he’d had to just ignore someone who’d only some hours earlier been full of life.

Xarr II had been named after the planet the Shi’ar believed was the origin of all humanoid creatures, and it had been constructed by people full of ambition, to be the largest inhabited place away from any planet, not merely a space station or a ship, but a city. It was an engineering marvel; it needed to be to fulfill its goal of being completely self-sustained and safe for its millions of inhabitants. What had happened was a reminder that no matter how safe it had been made, people there still relied on constructed barriers to keep them safe, and that artificial atmosphere and gravity could fail a lot faster than planetary ones would.

“We’ve seen a lot of terrible things happen, since we were in the war, since I was found in the ice, since we left Earth. We want to help, and it means seeing people during or right after the worst days of their lives,” Steve finally said. “Doesn’t make it any easier to confront something like this.”

“Never does,” Carol agreed, and Steve once again thought of all the things she must have experienced since she’d been infused with the power from the space stone. She didn’t usually talk about her time living on Hala or the years spent in space before they’d met for the first time, she kept barriers up much the same as Steve had always had the tendency to do. She shook her head and smiled in somewhat self-deprecating way. “It’s a good thing you guys don’t keep a stock of booze. These kinds of times are tricky to start with, and it wouldn’t help at all.”

“You’ve got experience with that?” Steve asked, trying to make his tone of voice light, no pressure for her to answer if she didn’t want to.

“There was a time when I didn’t know how to deal with everything, during my first years on Hala. I didn’t remember my past, there was just this sense of something being wrong, and I tried to deal with it the wrong way. I kicked the habit though, and know better now.”

“I’m certainly glad there wasn’t the kind of booze available that did anything for me after I got away from Hydra after DC,” Bucky said, shuffling into the room. Steve hadn’t heard him moving about, but neither was he surprised by his presence. 

Neither was Carol, apparently. “Lucky you. Did you ever try?”

“No, I knew it wouldn’t do anything. There was a time when I cursed it, though. Back in Bucharest I lived in a poor neighborhood, and there were many people who put a lot of effort in trying to forget. I sometimes envied them, because it felt like I remembered all the wrong things.”

Bucky came to stand next to Steve, who squeezed his hand. He’d heard these stories before, had heard of Bucky’s two years after DC when he’d slowly pieced together a life for himself. He was glad that Bucky could share them now with Carol as well.

“I did try, once,” Steve said. “In 1945. Didn’t do anything at all for me, and in hindsight, good thing too.”

“Yeah, kicking it is a hell of a thing,” Carol said. “I’ve found it’s better to care, better to not numb things, because they just come back more fucked up.”

“Amen to that,” Bucky said. “Since we’re not going to be boozing, how about tea? I have something that Cerice swears is calming, but I don’t know if it’s the same with tea as it is with alcohol.”

“Sounds good,” Carol said, and Steve nodded.

Bucky headed for the kitchen, and Steve smiled after him, again reminded of the mother hen tendency that ran deep in Bucky. He’d benefited a lot from it all throughout their relationship, but Bucky always extended it to those he cared about or felt responsible for. Looking back to Carol when Bucky was out of sight, Steve saw her grinning at him, and shrugged.

“Where will you head out now?” he asked, half to distract her. “I don’t think they’ll have much more use of us here.

“I’ll take it easy for some time, maybe find Valkyrie and travel with her. It’s Thor’s decade as the King, so she’s exploring.”

“We spent some time in New Asgard when we were on Earth, she set out the same time as we did. It probably would be a good thing for us to take some time off, too. I don’t think we’re in the right mindset to head for another trouble zone right now.”

“That’s it for me as well,” she agreed.

Bucky came back with three mugs of hot tea and some snacks, which came in need. Steve was already getting hungry, because the exertion had emptied his reserves, and he’d need to pay attention to his eating to get back to level again. He and Bucky both would need a few additional meals every day over the next few days.

They had the tea and snacks, Steve and Carol sitting on the window, and Bucky on a cushion on the floor next to Steve, sometimes resting his head on his thigh. They didn’t talk, just kept a silent vigil over the lost souls as the hours passed.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new family member.

Bucky liked to visit Xandar on occasion, but it wasn’t his favorite place in the galaxy. He supposed that for many it undoubtedly was a sort of utopia, because it was peaceful and safe. The government functioned, business boomed, and people didn’t have to be afraid, not of being themselves or of voicing their opinions. It was comfortable too, the spaces that people lived in were functional and beautiful, with a lot of vegetation among the built areas, with clear blue skies and a friendly climate.

Bucky knew that several centuries ago Xandar had been much the same as Earth during the early twenty-first century; consumption running away from people, climate extremes becoming a new normal, and nature in jeopardy. The people of Xandar had acted and they’d won, the planet was friendly to them once more, but it had come with a cost, something most of them didn’t even consider anymore, because it was just how things were.

The thing that made Bucky uneasy about Xandar if he spent time thinking of it, was that the whole planet was terraformed. There was no untouched landscape, except in the middle of the seas, and even there one probably could see the effects of people if one looked close enough. The shores and inland areas were all built, most of the land area was covered with the beautiful cities, and where nature seemed to run free, it was not so because the areas had been left that way, but because they’d been carefully landscaped to look like no one had ever laid a hand on them. The animals too were all descendants of captive individuals or whole species revived from extinction by technology. It was better than the alternative, but Bucky generally preferred more organic places, and he knew Steve agreed.

Now though, stopping at a place that was safe and where they could just rest without having to take care of any chores was a luxury Bucky relished in. They’d both been shaken after what they’d witnessed on Xarr II, and after they’d left they’d wandered a bit, considering where to head next, but it had been obvious from the start that they weren’t in the kind of mindset they’d need if they were to head out somewhere else that needed help. Instead they’d come to Xandar, ordered a full maintenance for their ship, and settled at a small hotel by the sea. There was a large park nearby, and they enjoyed getting the breakfast to go and eating there under the flowering trees. They often lingered even after their meal when more people started to appear, Bucky usually reading something and Steve drawing on his pad.

That morning Bucky was engrossed by the story he was reading, a contemporary book from Earth that was set in the early years of the millennium and thus categorized as historical fiction. Chloe, Sam’s niece a few generations down the line, was very cheeky in a familiar way. In addition to book recommendations, she sent them pictures of the most ridiculous pieces of merchandise that focused on the original Captain America, Steve as opposed to any of the several people that had carried the shield since him.

Bucky was pulled away from the story by the realization that someone was looking at him, the awareness being a slow simmer rather than a sharp spike of adrenaline only because it was Steve. He’d put his pad away and was lying on his back on their blanket, looking at Bucky with the kind of soft fondness that always warmed him from tip to toe.

“What?”

“You look happy,” Steve said, smiling. “I mean, it’s not just the usual thing, but that you look settled once more. I’m glad, I missed it.”

“I am happy.” Bucky dropped his pad on the corner of the blanket and stretched out next to Steve, tucking himself as close as possible. He knew no one would even look at them twice, and even though it had now been true for most of his life, the early knowledge of having to hide a significant part of himself still meant that he always paused to relish the fact that they no longer had to worry about being seen if he happened to think about it.

Bucky understood what Steve had meant with his words, because these days he was always happy, it was at the core of his being now that they were continuously and steadily together with Steve. In addition to happiness he felt a lot of other things; fear, apprehension, joy, anger, surprise, delight. The whole spectrum of human emotions was there, but underneath was always the layer of his happiness. It had been the same lately as well; even though he’d been feeling listless and drained, it hadn’t meant he’d been unhappy.

Now it was different. Their vacation had helped him to rest and recover, and he knew it had affected him just as it had worked on Steve. He’d watched as Steve had smiled more day by day, had been brooding less, had found it easier to relax and to fall asleep. He’d dealt with what they’d experienced, and found his way back to the comfortable ease of being, and Bucky had done the same. He felt rejuvenated, even though he wasn’t yet quite ready to get back to their normal routine. He was, however, very ready to enjoy the leisure rather than having to use it to charge his batteries.

A few days later, they were back at their ship, ready to set out again. They weren’t going to head back to work immediately, because they’d agreed it would be better to take it easy for a little longer. They’d also agreed they were ready to exert a bit more energy in their day to day lives, and had decided to head out somewhere they’d feel more at home, even if it might just be on their ship in between stars.

They’d just finished putting all their new supplies to their places and checking that nothing was spoiled when the AI gave a proximity alert. When they went to check, there were three Nova Corps officers waiting outside, one of them with something that to Bucky looked like a cat carrier, except reinforced with a strong forcefield. He and Steve glanced at each other, confused but curious to see what it was all about.

After polite greetings and introductions, the officer in charge of the team waded into the point, gesturing at the carrier set on their table. “She can’t permanently stay here according to our laws, and we’ve heard you Earthlings have previously been able to get along with her kind.”

Bucky heard the two officers who were hanging back whispering to each other, something about Earthlings being considered reckless, but he ignored it as Steve leaned closer to peer into the carrier. He immediately smiled, probably confirming the Xandarians suspicion of their reckless nature.

“Oh, she’s a flerken, isn’t she? I’ve never seen one so young.” 

Steve disabled the forcefield and opened the carrier, reaching inside. Bucky noted the two officers took half a step back, and the one closest to them seemed to keep her footing only due to rigorous training. He was polite enough to hide his smile and focus on Steve.

The flerken was indeed young, as Bucky saw when Steve pulled her carefully out of the carrier. She fit easily into Steve’s cupped hands, and her fur was pure white, eyes bright blue. She was perfectly calm, sitting in Steve’s hands and blinking up at him without fear. Steve stepped to Bucky, and handed her to him, staying close enough to stroke her lightly between ears. She was unbearably cute when she yawned after sniffing at their hands for a moment and then curled up into a little ball, promptly falling asleep in Bucky’s hands, apparently not bothered by the metal.

When Bucky looked up, he saw Steve looking, not at the kitten, but him, a soft smile on his face. Bucky had a good inclination of what his own face looked like; he had a soft spot for all small creatures, especially cute ones like the kitten, and these days Steve just delighted in it even if someone were to suggest that he too probably had been small and cute once. If one asked Bucky, he’d confirm that Steve definitely had been so.

“Where’d she come from?” Steve asked.

“We don’t know. She just appeared, no one really knows much about flerken reproduction. Whenever one is found, we hope they’ll pick a person to rely on, because they tend to be less unpredictable if they’re settled. People don’t mind them then.”

Steve hummed thoughtfully, again petting the kitten with two fingers. She flicked her ears but didn’t wake.

“We’ll take her with us,” Bucky said, and shook his head a bit at Steve’s too delighted grin. It had been inevitable really, from the moment it had been obvious she trusted them. Bucky already knew Steve would send a truly outrageous number of pictures of her to Chloe, who would demand they visit again just so that she could meet her.

They declined taking the carrier with them, again obviously demonstrating their recklessness in the opinion of the Nova Corps officers, and then quickly researched flerken diet to see if they needed to add to their supplies before leaving. Turned out they were much like cats in that aspect too, fully carnivorous, and she should be able to just share their stores at least for the start. They could restock after they’d figured out her preferences.

For the takeoff they put her into one of the storage boxes in the cockpit, and she settled there happily enough on one of Steve’s shirts. They got on the way without incident, and after half an hour they were safely out of the orbit and headed away from the system. Bucky picked the kitten up again once he knew everything worked and he didn’t need to monitor everything anymore, petting her while he waited for Steve to set their flight path and everything else required into the computer.

“What will we call her?” Steve asked, glancing at Bucky.

Bucky looked at her, considering, and it was her color, pure white but somehow iridescent at the edges, that reminded him of something, and without allowing himself a moment to second guess, he said, “How about Alpine?”

Steve paused what he was doing to fully look at him. “You want to name her after the mountain range you fell off of?”

He sounded so incredulous that Bucky wanted to laugh, but it also made him suddenly feel light that Steve could ask it so easily. Bucky knew it was a difficult memory for Steve, more so than it was for him since he didn’t remember it very well at all, and Steve would continue to carry it with him for the rest of his life. Yet, it meant a lot that he didn’t immediately balk at the idea, it meant he’d come far since then. He probably understood as well that maybe this was yet another way to deal with things, to paint over the difficulties in their past with good things.

“I think it would work,” Bucky said, and Steve nodded.

“Alpine she is, then.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Settling in once more.

It turned out that flerken kittens didn’t come with a full control of their tentacles, which over the first weeks of their cohabitation was a regular source of hilarity to Steve and Bucky. More so to Steve when Alpine made a habit of going to sleep on Bucky and wrapping a tentacle around his metal wrist. Sometimes she seemed to simply forget to keep them in whatever dimensional pocket she had, and tripped on them as she walked, or lost her balance when trying to pull something toward her with them. Clearly she needed to work on her handling skills some more. Undoubtedly she’d grow into similarly somewhat dignified being as all the adult flerkens Steve had seen were, indistinguishable from cats until they got angry or needed to defend themselves.

They’d researched flerkens as much as they could, although there wasn’t too much information on them available. As far as they could determine, Alpine was a couple of months old, she’d grow more slowly than a cat would have, and that she was perfectly healthy. It was also clear she’d chosen them as her family, which was a relief. Had she decided she didn’t like them after all they would have found another home for her, but it would have been hard, because they’d both grown rapidly very fond of her.

Steve especially enjoyed seeing Bucky take care of her. He’d always had a soft spot for small creatures, and it was the same with Alpine. Bucky did grumble in a very familiar way whenever she decided to fall asleep on him, complaining that he couldn’t do the things he was supposed to, but Steve knew it was an act, one that Bucky knew he saw right through. It was yet another of their familiar routines; Bucky would mock-complain, Steve would be amused, and both of them felt right at home.

They were traveling at a leisurely pace, since they weren’t on the way anywhere in particular. As it was, there was no need to go through the jumps, so they’d just set up a course along one of the scenic routes, and were getting used to life with their new companion. It was good to get back to their familiar routines on the ship, because it helped to further their recovery from what they’d been through. The vacation had started it, and now the familiar duties and just being at home on their ship solidified it.

It also gave Alpine time to get used to everything. She was still young, and while there weren’t any conclusive studies on flerken intelligence, it appeared she understood speech at least somewhat already, and would probably learn more as time passed. She also knew to be careful around the ship, enough that Bucky had stopped worrying when she followed him to the engine room. She never went too close to anything that might be dangerous for her. A couple of weeks into the journey they were sure she wouldn’t cause any trouble at all, at least not of the dangerous kind and not for them.

They usually ate in the kitchen, but since they were just nearing a reportedly spectacular nebula, they decided to make a picnic of it. They made a meal out of nutritious and filling snack food, making sure it was all easy to eat, and set everything by the observation window.

They sat on the cushions on the floor and ate. Alpine had her own portion, and after scarfing it down she climbed all over the both of them, begging for scraps with great success. After a while she was apparently sated, and she hopped up to sit on the window. She didn’t settle, though, she kept glancing at them so accusingly that Bucky finally made a nest for her out of Steve’s sweater that he’d taken off earlier, because it was warm by the garden. Alpine happily settled on it, tucking her feet under herself and looking out into space.

The nebula was now coming into full view, and the observation room was filled with multicolored light that reflected off the floor and walls, even Bucky’s arm. The gas clouds had made swirling patterns in all colors of the rainbow, with starlight twinkling through them. It was breathtaking, and Steve suddenly wanted to paint it.

These days he usually drew on his pad, but he had proper painting supplies for when he had the time. He usually didn’t paint on the ship, because there was always a chance of things getting disturbed with sudden movements. He looked his fill instead, thinking that the next time they spent time somewhere with regular gravity he might try his hand on it.

“It’s pretty incredible,” Bucky said, calling Steve’s attention to him. He was gazing out, a smile on his face. “Sometimes I still have to pinch myself over the fact that I get to be here with you, doing what we do.” He looked back at Steve and the smile on his face softened with happiness.

“There are a lot of things I still need to pinch myself over,” Steve agreed. “It’s so strange, when I think about it, that when I was young I fully expected my whole life to be spent in Brooklyn, because I didn’t have the means to leave, and now we’re here, able to travel throughout the whole galaxy as we want.”

“Even the young me who read all the scifi pulps didn’t get quite this far in his imaginings.” Bucky chuckled at the memory, and Steve smiled too, remembering the many times Bucky had used to read to him from the magazines and tell grand tales of the exploits he’d undertake when he’d be grown up.

“You always had stories of us going to new places, so you got that right, at least,” Steve said. It wasn’t a completely carefree memory for him, and perhaps a shadow passed over his face, because Bucky frowned.

“What is it?”

Steve shook his head, and summoned the smile back. “It’s just, I remember I always told you I’d come with you the way you had it in your stories, but honestly, I didn’t really believe it.”

“Because we were so poor or because you didn’t think people would be able to travel in space within our lifetime?”

“Neither. I just didn’t think I’d make it into adulthood.” Bucky grew serious at Steve’s frank admission, and Steve shrugged. “Enough people said they didn’t think I’d live until adulthood, and many of them didn’t particularly care whether I heard. And I was well aware I was more sick than anyone I knew, so it wasn’t that difficult to start suspecting they might be right.”

Bucky let out a distressed noise and pulled Steve into a rough hug. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“Come on, Bucky, do you really think I would have?” Steve asked, resting his head on Bucky’s shoulder for a moment before pulling back to look at him again.

“Guess not. Wish you hadn’t had to think like that, though.”

“Yeah, well. If we start wishing for things to be different, I can think of a few,” Steve said. “Doesn’t really matter now. I’m glad I was wrong, though.”

“Me too,” Bucky said. He stacked their dishes up, because they’d finished eating, and pushed them a bit further away from the cushions they were resting on. “I’m glad too, that I wasn’t right about everything.”

“What’s that?” Steve asked, genuinely curious, but the twinkle that appeared in Bucky’s eye told him before Bucky had time to answer.

Bucky crowded closer and pushed him down on his back, and Steve went, pulling Bucky down with him, hands already busy pulling at his shirt. “I’m glad we can have everything and be everything rather than just friends.”

“Yeah, this is definitely an upgrade to your stories.”

Steve pulled Bucky into a kiss then, hand firmly cradling his head, immediately deepening the kiss. Bucky’s lips parted to let him in, and Steve shifted into a more comfortable position. He wanted to be sure they didn’t have to stop because one of them got cramps, he wanted to go slow that night, wanted to build toward the pleasure and release. He also just wanted to kiss Bucky.

After a few moments Bucky pulled back just a bit, enough to look at him. He was flushed and happy. “So it’s a slow night, I take it?” He shifted and his leg slid between Steve’s, increasing the delicious pressure.

“It definitely is,” Steve said, pushing his hand under Bucky’s shirt, splaying his fingers across his back.

“Works for me.”

Bucky leaned back in once more to kiss Steve, deeper and firmer again, and Steve let go of all the thoughts in his head except those that had to do with pleasure, giving it and receiving it, the familiar back and forth that would never grow old.

They’d made their way to bed eventually, and slept well. Both of them were in high spirits the next morning during breakfast, talking and laughing at Alpine, who spent most of it chasing after a crumpled piece of paper that Steve had thrown for her. Sometimes she really wasn’t that different from an Earth kitten at all.

They’d just tidied up when they received a message that said there was a need to relocate a relatively large population of a city that was becoming uninhabitable due to poisonous gas escaping from the planet’s crust, and that their help with their ship would be appreciated. They replied immediately, remembering to ask if the newest addition to their family was a problem, and once they heard back that since Alpine had taken a shine on them, no one would care, they readily agreed.

It meant their leisurely travel came to an end, and they headed off to make sure the ship was ready to make the jumps and plot their new course. Steve went to the cockpit, with Alpine trailing after him, and he lifted her to the spot she’d decided was hers whenever they were busy. Soon she was asleep, leaving Steve to check the flight computer and start plotting the most efficient route.

Bucky arrived half an hour later. “I checked the engine, everything is good to go.”

“Here too. We’re about an hour away from the next jump point, I’ll set the course there.”

“I’ll have a look at the reports, see if there’s something in particular we need to prepare for.”

They both worked at their stations, discussing how they should go about it, how many people they’d be able to carry and how many trips they’d be able to make. It felt good to get back to work, Steve felt ready for it now, and he knew Bucky was too, his eyes sharp and voice steady as he recited the atmospheric conditions on the planet to Steve.

A couple of minutes before the jump Bucky scratched Alpine’s head, waking her up. “Better hold on, little friend, we’re about to jump.”

She blinked slowly at him, but sat up rather than going to sleep again, so Steve decided she was probably ready. They didn’t need to worry about her when it came to the jumps, because small though they were, flerkens could actually handle the dimensional squeeze better than almost any other species. They just thought it was polite to warn her at least.

“Ready to go, then?” Steve asked Bucky, who nodded.

“Ship is ready, and I too could do something other than laze about, so let’s.”

Steve grinned. “Here we go, then.”

He initiated the jump, and the stars disappeared as they headed toward a new adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you had a good time, and hopefully this will be a better year for all of us, despite the less than stellar beginning!
> 
> You can find me variously active on [twitter](https://twitter.com/stellahibernis)/[tumblr](https://stellahibernis.tumblr.com/)/[dreamwidth](https://stellahibernis.dreamwidth.org/).


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